TWO STORIES- BORN FREE. LOVE FREE. LIVE FREE

“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion”
~ Albert Camus

 

This is the first person narrative of one of the characters from the series – Shreshta.  Complete the two part love story before reading this. Find it here-  https://euphoricwrites.wordpress.com/category/posts/stories/two-stories/

________________________________________________

 Love, care, affection, appraisal and every other emotion was equally shared by our parents, between me and my elder brother. Ours was one of those happy small families illustrated in the social text books. We were equally treated and I had no complaints. Then one day, I realized that things were not the same anymore and it was when I realized that I grew up! I started to understand that one prime thing that defines a person- freedom, is not equally given to us. After I started going to high school, I felt the difference! I was not allowed to travel alone, without the presence of one of our family members. I thought it was because they care about me. But one day, my friend told me that my parents used to enquire daily about me, whether I am talking to any boys in the school. I had access to social networking but my parents used to go through all the chat at the end of the day and if they found out any signs of closeness with the opposite gender, I get a class.

 

I thought that life would be easier once I get to college, but it became tougher for me by the day. I suffer the pain of being reminded by my parents every single day about how careful I should be with my actions and how the family reputation is more important than my actions. May be due to these restrictions, I tried getting into relationships just for the sake of teaching them a lesson. Two times, I even got into proper relationships but they didn’t last for months. Suicidal behaviour started creeping into my mind slowly, but powerfully. I already attempted to end my life, those two times my relationships failed, but couldn’t gather the courage to do so. All these sufferings and experiences made me a strong and matured person. I have given up on love and sensibility in this world and decided to do something useful in my life. I realized that only way out of this hell is if I settle down in life and carry myself. But I don’t wasn’t to repeat the mistakes I did with the relationships. I don’t want to build a mechanized career just for its sake. I have decided that I am going to build a lovable career in the human arts field.

My first beautiful moment of the college life- when I started reading blogs written by my senior, Arya, and to read them was the decision which changed the face of my life. My heart did overflow with the sweet emotions he portrayed in his writings and I was mesmerized by the way his sad endings give out the stroke of practicality. I wanted to get to know him personally and that was the moment when I wished to join in the literary society of our college which he leads. When I got selected in it, I tried to divert all my thoughts and actions to work for it. It not only helped me pacifying the pain, but I developed my skills and prepared myself for this competitive world. I got to know Arya better and he taught me many things about personality development. Though we didn’t remain in touch much, due to the restrictions I had, one day I opened up to him and explained him about my life. Until then, whoever listened to my story has slowly moved away from me. But then, it was Arya! After the team meeting next day, he spoke to me in person for three hours and I was in tears by the end of it! I did attempt to kill myself in the past, but never did I cry. For once, I loved being vulnerable! He made me promise that I would never again try to end my life. As I made the promise, I fell in love with him. Though I knew that he just had a break up, I was happy that for once in my life, I truly fell in love! I was ready to wait for him to move on after his break up, wait all my life!

 But life is funny! It tests you in every possible way and my life was nothing less than a Geroge RR Martin’s novel! Whenever a sign of happiness enter my life, it doesn’t take more than a day to fill it with tragedy again! That day when I went back home, I was scolded badly for talking with a guy alone. My brother must had seen me talking with Arya and complained to my parents. I was on the verge of my breaking point because I never knew that my brother too was a part of that orthodox torture batch. For the first time in my life, I backed up myself!

“He is my senior and we were talking professional matters” I said.

“You were crying. Is that professional?” my brother’s words continued to sting me.

“He was explaining me about life and nothing more, I swear!” I said, in a shaking tone.

“What if someone else had seen you? What about our family name?”

“When you roam around the city on your bike, with your girlfriend, doesn’t it matter? You even bring your girl to home and talk to anyone you want for hours on the phone. What about it?” I yelled.

*SLAP* My brother did hit me and my parents were supporting him. I broke completely, stormed off from there and locked myself up in my room. As my eyes were fixed on the blade at the corner of my study table, I knew that this time I have enough courage to pierce the blade into the layers of my wrist and end my suffering. But I remembered the promise I made to Arya. “The moment you give you, you already are dead” he told me once. I decided that from then on, I would neither give up nor be dead. I went to the hall room once again and said with a smile,

“I am in love with Arya.”

*SLAP* That was it! One cannot stay enslaved forever. That moron slapped me again! This time, I just smiled and I sat down on the sofa to watch the cartoons. I turned back and said, “I didn’t see it coming this time. I promise you that next time you try to slap me, I will dodge it, hold your arm and twist it until you beg me for mercy.” A lengthy silence occupied the room and my favourite music of Tom and Jerry broke the silence.

 

SIX MONTHS LATER:

I did change a lot in these six months. Slowly, but surely, I started breaking the chains tied to me my entire life. They still tortured me with words whenever they found a reason, but I no longer cared. I realized that I was answerable to no one, except myself. The more freedom I embraced, more love flew into my life.

It was the day of farewell and it was heart breaking to see the person I love, suffering in the memories of the person he loved. I realized that it was meaningless to wait till his suffering period is over. May be I was not the rebound but maybe I was the cure! But also, I was careful not to wound him forever. I expressed every single feeling I ever had, have and will be having on him. I proposed, he hesitated and I made another promise. This time, I promised him that by the time he completes MS and visits India, I would be standing at the airport to receive him and if he doesn’t love me by that time, he can just pass by me.

 

TWO YEARS LATER:

We remained as good friends these two years, but I was not sure whether he had feelings for me or not. I got placed in a reputed company as Human Resource manager. With the money I had been saving for myself all these years by working as a part timer in various small companies, I moved to my own place, far away from my hell-home. I became completely free and I loved him more by the every passing day! As I promised, I waited in the airport and my heart skipped a beat as he moved towards me. A tear rolled down my cheek when he did hold my hands and said, “Shreshta, I promise to love you for the rest of our lives and after!” and that was the last time I ever cried in my life!

 _____________________________________________________________________

Freedom is the best characteristic that defines a person. One quote from “Brave Heart” which has been a great source of inspiration in my life,

“Fight and you may die. Run, and you will live… at least for a while. But, dying in your beds, many years from now, you would be willing to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take OUR FREEDOM!”  

THE SALSA ~ The first step (Shalini’s)

Though it comes prior to the other parts of the story in chronological order, it is advised to read the other parts first as this is just a “character intro” narrative.

For the main story, go to
https://euphoricwrites.wordpress.com/2014/03/28/the-salsa-divine-rhythm/

“

“Hmph! I am never talking to her again, she’s such a trat” I yelled to myself.

“Hey, Shalini. Why are you so upset?” enquired my brother.

“I don’t want to be a part of that irritating gang anymore. They are so mean. I hate them, I hate them all”.

“Don’t worry Shal, these things happen. You need to chill out about these things.”

“As if you care! I don’t want to talk anyone, not even you. Go away!”

I shut the door. However rude I was, I used to realize my mistake very soon. I did then too. I knew I did upset my brother and I also knew what would cool him up. I cooked him his favourite Chicken Manchuria and he melted down faster than the cheese toppings on the pieces did.

“You are so sweet. But a miracle is needed to make you think rationally all the time” he exclaimed! It was true! All I cared was about myself and the old classics of Bollywood.

Months flew by and as I joined college, I grew from a rude, insensitive person to the cautious, timid girl. Over the past few years, I had suffered enough because of the lack of my ability to judge a person. This made me think extra carefully about every single thing, especially about people. In addition to all this, everything about the college used to creep me out! I decided to stay away from all this filth, especially from those netas and drunkards as I found them both equally dangerous! As I became completely indifferent to the feeling of affection, stroke of a perfection changed me. If all that we want is rain, why do we love drizzles and hate storms? If all that we want is stroke of air caressing us, why do we love breezes and hate tornados? It’s because overdoing or underdoing of things doesn’t bring us happiness. All the time, we crave for perfection! I used to think that when we find a perfect soul mate, we get connected instantly! But I was wrong. Love is like a wild fire, you never know how it started, but before you realize what’s happening, you are surrounded with the blazing fire of love! It happens to you when you expect the least. Those were the days when I was at the rock bottom of my expectations and alas, I was swept away by love!

October 6, 2012:
It was just another normal day, which kept on reminding me why I hate people so much, except for my first encounter of love! I didn’t know at that time that he is going to be my life. It really was one of the silliest ways to meet a person. I thought I forgot the moment and it doesn’t matter much in my life. But later on, when we fell in love, I realized that all the steps and moves I make daily, turned into dance! That night, I, with my family went to the lake and we released helium balloons carrying lamps into the sky, as a part of our tradition for Diwali. As they did rise up into the dark sky, I realized how unimportant and unnoticed something becomes when it drifts far away from us. But also, I had a feeling that, somewhere far away, someone was watching the sky and being filled with excitement as they found the sky lighten up a bit. Just then a smile curled onto my lips as I received a text from Akash, “Sorry for today and good night”

_______________________________________________________

“It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together… and I knew it.” – Tom Hanks, Sleepless In Seattle

THE BROKEN CHARIOT

“If you want to cultivate a habit, do it without any reservation, till it is firmly established. Until it is so confirmed, until it becomes a part of your character, let there be no exception, no relaxation of effort.”

~Mahavira

In the vast grounds of Hastinapur, which witnessed the might of many warriors and the glory of many princes, entered the 105 brothers, called as Pandavas and Kauravas. Though it was everyone’s show, all the eyes were fixed on Arjun. People of the capital were excited to experience the brilliance of the greatest archer ever born, or they say. When it was time for the main act, there was a twist in the tale! A low born, or as he was called so, came up to the centre of the grounds and challenged Arjun for a one on one skills test. Arjun was ready for the challenge, but the “learned & civilized men” objected to it, saying that to participate in a royal challenge, one needs to be a Kshatriya or a king. “Evil” Duryodhana came forward to the stage and crowned the low born as the king of “Anga” kingdom. That low born never looked back or never let his well-wishers down and strived for their glory, all his life. This man, named Karna, is praised by one and all till date and this “you have to be a Kshatriya to compete” incident, which took place thousands of years ago, is still remembered as one of the low points in human history.

In the congested slums of Dohepur, which witnessed the suffering of uncountable number of people, did rise a star! Working as a janitor during day and studying under the lights of the nearby railway station during nights, an orphan scored 175 in the IIT JEE mains, 5 less than the qualifying mark! He did not feel bad then. Next day, when he went to work in one of the houses, his master gave him a sweet box and asked him to congratulate his son, Rahul for scoring a rank of 3000 (category) with a mere 90 marks. Karan did not understand all that then. Wearing the only untorn dress he has, he went to the Sarpanch’s office to ask them about it. They explained to him clearly what “Reservation” is how it is needed for the society. Without reservations, backward caste students like Rahul would get injustice! All the way while walking back home, various thoughts crossed his mind about how hard he worked for each single mark and the times when he used to survive only on water and starch for days straight to buy one book. He couldn’t understand why a born with the silver spoon guy, who scored almost half of his score was given a chance to study in the reputed college of IIT and why he is not! He quietly went back to his hut, took a blade into his hands and nothing ever shone in those slums again! This man, named Karan, was pitied by the news watchers for one day or two, until they moved on to the next important news of India winning the world cup and this “he is better than you because of his birth” incident, which happen every day, is no longer cared about!

 

Let’s take an example of a teacher job, in Government College. There were many incidents where applicants with 80% or more are rejected to give way to the category applicants who couldn’t even score 60%. Think from a student’s perspective! How a lecturer with a high command on the subject (80%) would have taught them, compared to a lecturer who would now be reckless about his job because he wouldn’t know the value of that position?! If you have given multiple chances to a candidate in the form of reservation all his life and still he is able to score only 60%, why on the earth would you want to give him another chance, ruining the life of a talented person? Where is the loophole?

 

It’s not always the case that students are fond of this opportunity given to them. There was an incident where I met a person who earned my respect for life! We were playing cricket in our street and after the match, I talked to a guy, 3 years younger to me about his JEE exam. He told me that though he belonged to a category, he did not mention it in the application form. When he said, “I am happy with what I earn, not what I am given”, I saw the pride in his eyes. He went on to score a rank of 400 and I was filled with happiness that moment, though I have no relation or friendship with him! Every person understands that by using the reservation facility (even though their financial conditions don’t need it), they spoil another student’s life who is better than them. When they do understand this fact, terms would be a lot better for everyone.

It is not even the mistakes of the politicians. Poor things, they can’t risk speaking on the anti-reservation bill and losing the votes of a certain caste. And of course, on any day, vote bank is more important than the lives of people and deaths of students. Dr. Ambedkar did what he did because the conditions were too bad back then, If life is a race, backward caste people were competing from 50 metres behind the start line. He tried to bring them to the start line so as to have a fair competition. But now, instead of equality, category students are placed in the mid-way of the track and hurdles are placed in the way of general students, making it an upstream swim for them! Just make it less unfair, if not fair! Just don’t give the talented students a broken chariot and then expect them to race of.

PS: This article is not against anyone. It is written just because I felt that it’s high time for people to lose their fear talking about this sensitive topic.

 

 

 

 

 

THE SALSA ~ The first tune (Akash’s)

Though it comes prior to the other parts of the story in chronological order, it is advised to read the other parts first as this is just a “character intro” narrative.

For the main story, go to
https://euphoricwrites.wordpress.com/2014/03/28/the-salsa-divine-rhythm/

__________________________________________________________________________

“
It was a Saturday night and just like everyone else, I too was facing the biggest trouble of my life- pleading my sister to give me the TV remote. I knew can’t watch that life sucking “Saawariya” for one more time and my sis would never miss a chance to glue her eyes to TV, when Ranbir is onscreen. She said, “Ranbir is the most romantic hero of Indian Cinema”. I giggled, because I know no one can ever be better than the king of romance and when he spreads his arms wide and intensifies his facial expressions, he is irresistible to watch. 
“I disagree, there cannot be anyone greater than SRK and I just love his 90’s movies. They are masterpieces.”

“Okay grandpa, whatever you say! Just let me watch this movie.”

I snatched the remote and finally I got to watch my all-time favourite, “Kuch kuch hota hai”

“I pity for you, because you never are going to get a girl who has similar tastes as you, old fashioned, fairy tale lover and 90’s Bollywood freak” she said, storming off into the kitchen to false complain that I did hit her for the TV remote. At the end, I had to give in to her treachery as every younger one in the house does often. But this time, more than the lost remote, her words hurt me a lot.

 Months flew by and in our college, I became the first neta of our batch who did not crave for that title. But with great power comes great responsibilities (or great frustrations). On one side, my sister’s words were troubling me and on the other, these frustrations. I have decided to use the most powerful weapon- to move on. It was difficult but I diverted my mind with dance and other college events. You’ll have a better glimpse of the world around you when you stop chasing anything, may it be power or love! Why do we love our parents so much? Because we don’t choose them, because our relationship is a stroke of destiny in the canvas of life and because we accept each other, despite our flaws. Destiny had something special for everyone and it gifts you with that special moment when you clear your mind of all your desires. When I moved on completely, destiny gifted me too, except for the fact that the gift was more special than anything given to any person in the whole world. The gift was love!

 

October 6, 2012:

It was my day, it was the day which made every other day in my life very special! I chatted with her many times before but it was the day which brought her grace into the dance of my life. It was not a stand out encounter and was just like an everyday clichéd moment. But then, moments are made special by the person in it and she is dearer to me than my life! That night, as I laid down on my terrace and looked up into the darkness of the sky, I felt that there was something special about it that day, may be it is lightened up a bit more than usual, as Diwali is nearby. Whatever it was, I felt special and dozed off texting Shalini, “Sorry for today and good night”.

”

“Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs; 
Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers’ eyes; 
Being vex’d a sea nourish’d with lovers’ tears: 
What is it else? a madness most discreet, 
A choking gall and a preserving sweet. ” 

~Shakespeare